Identity = Destiny. Why The Story You Tell Yourself Is So Important

The way you see the world, is the way you see yourself.

The story you tell yourself about yourself, is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

If you think life is hard, good stuff happens to bad people and you constantly have to prove yourself in order to “achieve happiness”, then that will always be true for you.

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In order to create change in your life, in order to allow things to be “easy”, you need to review your own story. You need to look at the facts and see if you really interpreted them correctly all this time. What else could those facts mean?

The events and experiences in your life shape your character, beliefs and attitude. If the meaning you have attached to them holds you back in your life, then it’s worth re-interpreting them with a more beneficial meaning and re-telling your story in a way that makes sense and is believable to you.

That takes some work, yes. It means taking off layers of limiting beliefs. It means questioning rules that you have made up for yourself and lived by all your life. It means questioning who you think you really are!

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The outcome, though, is so worth it. The true story that you will uncover is always more beautiful than the one you’ve been telling yourself so far.

When you connect with your true essence – confidence, creativity, inspiration and meaning just offer themselves to you. Magic happens and your next step suddenly becomes very clear.

There’ll be no need to look in all the wrong places anymore.

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Last week, two of my clients told me they quit their jobs and will go travelling for a few months. One doesn’t know if she’ll ever come back.

I admire the courage and confidence they have developed in less than a year and I love hanging out with women who don’t accept “semi-happiness”! I’m amazed how they took responsibility and turned “reacting to circumstances” into “creating the life they want”.

You can do it, too.

Don’t settle for less!

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Contact Anja if you want to change your story, too.

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13 Responses to Identity = Destiny. Why The Story You Tell Yourself Is So Important

  1. Anja–this post couldn’t have come at a better time for me! I am just wrapping a divorce after a 14 year marriage and starting my own business. I am just now realizing how limiting my beliefs are surrounding myself and what I am capable of and am having to push through A LOT of “red tape” in my own head in order to see myself as valuable and successful.

    In the beginning, I started out talking with that same self-doubt when I would run my business idea by people and I can totally tell a difference with how they responded as compared to how others respond now that I have more respect and admiration for myself!

    Thanks for the wonderfully affirming post today!

  2. Kathleen says:

    Great post, Anja! hahaha! LOVE the image of Pinnochio! How perfect for this subject! which is really near and dear to my heart. As one wise man has said… “we dull our lives by the way we perceive them.” James Hillman.

    So yes, rather than a loser… why not see our lives through the lens of the Hero’s Journey? pitfalls and all! I do so appreciate your words… “The events and experiences in your life shape your character, beliefs and attitude.” That’s it! and there is no character without the experiences we have been through. Make gold out of them! Honey! And tell a GREAT EPIC STORY!

    Thank you, Anja!

  3. Laura says:

    Anja,

    Love this! I am really noticing mine and others “stories” lately and how limiting they are. It takes work to change our internal dialogue about ourselves (wait, is that a story I am telling myself?!)

    OK, re-start. I notice as I effortlessly change my stories life DOES get easier and more fun. I had a story for a while that I could not afford the house I lived in. And then I realized I COULD afford it, because, after all, I was living in it!. Then I had a story about how challenging it was to not have the money I thought I needed. And then I realized all these things were coming to me THANKS to not having a ton of money in the bank. And as I added up all the non-monetary things coming into my life they were HUGE. SO thanks for the reminder of noticing my stories and evolving them as I evolve.

  4. virtualanja says:

    Thank you, ladies – I really appreciate your taking the time to comment! xx

  5. Anja,
    I am in the process of making some major changes in my life. I was in a car accident a few years ago and it was a life altering experience. Now I am doing only things that make me truly happy. ;-)

  6. Sheila says:

    Anja, I couldn’t agree more! As the owner of The Grateful Goddess, I am also living and teaching ways to live a more joyful life. I have never been happier or less stressed as I really feel I have found my passion and when you find your passion and purpose in life, ‘working’ energizes and lifts your spirits! Thank you for your gift of helping others find their joy!

  7. Anja,

    This is a great post. I think it is always good to evaluate where we get our ideas, thoughts and image from. I love the story of the women traveling all over the world. My life has changed dramatically in the last couple of years. I am rebuilding myself and it is so great to have this post as a reminder

  8. Tanya says:

    This is HOT! I love this line: If you think life is hard, good stuff happens to bad people and you constantly have to prove yourself in order to “achieve happiness”, then that will always be true for you.

    Lately, I’ve been getting a lot of unwanted advice. My friend said to me: are you asking for it? I immediately said no but then realized that in some way, I am attracting it.

    I’ve had this conversation that I have to work hard and prove myself. I can hear it sometimes in the back of my mind. I’m catching it more now and reframing it.

    Thanks for this beautiful reflection.

  9. Tina Pruitt says:

    OMG….this post is fantastic! I have had some fabulous personal and professional breakthroughs the last few days and this post has so much meaning for me!!!

    Love this: “When you connect with your true essence – confidence, creativity, inspiration and meaning just offer themselves to you. Magic happens and your next step suddenly becomes very clear.”

    So true. I love it when magic happens. I just experienced this and it is SO AWESOME!!!!

    Thanks again Anja…just fantastic stuff!!
    xo,
    Tina

  10. Suki says:

    The major change in my life is starting my own business. Which is really pull out everything about me that I’ve never known before. I agree that “When you connect with your true essence – confidence, creativity, inspiration and meaning just offer themselves to you. Magic happens and your next step suddenly becomes very clear.” LOVE that. It’s so true! I have the energy, creativity and inspiration flow like a river and the magic is I connect with lots of amazing people around me that I never know them before!

  11. Pat Novak says:

    Super Anja! Life is just energy, pure in form, and we are the prism it goes through. So, our life is what is reflected
    through the prism of our stories , etc. Another quote I love is : “Life isn’t happening to you, it is happening through you.”
    And you are so right, it takes work! Questioning beliefs and attitudes that seem like a second skin.
    But as you’ve said, so worth it!

  12. Anja, I love that we are speaking the same language! This is such an important post. Indeed, the thoughts we tell ourselves, our stories, do become our realities. That’s why it is so important to be *aware* and become conscious of the stories we tell ourselves in order to shift them. And I just LOVE the pinocchio image! What a delightful post. And Anja, I think you are going to love the Enneagram. I would love to chat with you more about it.

  13. Nice one, Anja! We have the power to create our worlds. What we think becomes reality. We have the choice to be semi-happy or to be totally turned on by life. This message you share is so important and I share all the time with my clients and in my workshops. Thank you for sharing.

    xoxo
    Alara

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